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Blackstone Valley Advocacy Center
| | PERSONALIZED SAFETY PLAN
This is my plan for increasing my safety and preparing in advance for the possibility of further violence. While I do not have control over my abuser's violence, I do have a choice about how to respond to him/her and how best to get myself and my children to safety.
Step 1: Safety during a violent incident.
A victim cannot always avoid their abuser's violence. In order to increase my safety, I may:
A. Keep my purse and car keys ready and put them someplace.
B. Teach my children how to use the telephone and call 911.
C. Tell neighbors and friends about the abuse and ask them to call 911
if they hear suspicious noises coming from my house.
D. If I have to leave my home, I will go .
Decide this even if you don't think there will be a next time.
E. When I think we are going to have an argument, I will try to move
to a space that I can escape from, like .
Suggestion: Try to avoid arguments your abuser starts in the
bathroom, garage, kitchen, near weapons or in rooms without an
outside door. Bathrooms, kitchens, and garages often have things
in them which can be used as weapons.
F. I will use my judgment and senses to enhance my safety. I will
do whatever I can to protect myself until I am out of danger. I
know best what works with my abuser.
Step 2: Safety when preparing to leave.
Victims often leave their homes for safety, especially when they live with their abusers. If I decide to leave, I need to plan carefully in order to increase my safety. My abuser might hurt me if he/she thinks that I might leave. To make leaving safer for me, I can:
A. Open a secret savings account to increase my independence.
B. Check with and to
see if I can stay with them or if they can lend me money.
C. Call 1-800-494-8100 (in Rhode Island) to get the numbers of
domestic violence hotlines. I can then call to get shelter and talk.
D. Rehearse my escape plan and practice it with my children, if that is
safe.
Step 3: Safety in my own home.
I can do other things to increase my safety at home, like:
A. Change the locks on my doors and windows.
B. Replace wooden outside doors with steel or metal doors.
C. Install a security system: add extra locks, window bars, poles to
wedge against doors, an electronic alarm system, door alarms, etc.
D. Install outside motion detecting flood lights that go on whenever
someone comes close to my house.
E. Tell people who care for my children who can (and who can't) pick
them up. Ask them to call 911 if my abuser shows up to get them
when I have a restraining order giving me temporary custody.
Step 4: Safety with protection order.
Some abusers obey "no contact" orders (issued by police) or restraining orders (issued by courts), but I can never be sure if my abuser will obey my protection order. I may need to ask the police to arrest my abuser if he/she does not obey a restraining order. To help the police or the courts enforce my protection order, I can:
A. Keep my official copy of my protection order in a safe place where I
can find it quickly. Note: Always keep a copy with you, 24 hours a
day, wherever you go. You may need to show it to the police to prove
you have it if your abuser violates it.
B. Give copies of my restraining order to the local police departments
of the communities where I work and/or live.
C. Tell people around me that I have a restraining order against my
abuser. Ask my employer, my co-workers, my religious leader, my
family, my friends, my neighbors, to tell me or call the police if
they see my abuser looking for me when I am around.
D. If my abuser destroys my copy of my restraining order, I can get
another copy from the courthouse where I got it.
E. If my abuser violates the restraining order, I can tell the police and
report it, contact my attorney, call my victim advocate, and/or tell
the court about the violation. I should always write down the date
and time that it was violated, and what happened.
Step 5: Safety on the job and in public.
I will need to decide if, when, and how I will tell others that I have been abused and that I may still be at risk. My friends, family and co-workers can help protect me. I can think about who to ask to help me become safe. I can also:
A. Shop and do banking at places different from those my abuser knows
about at times that are not normal for me.
B. Tell my boss, the security supervisor and others at work that my
abuser is dangerous to me.
C. When leaving work, if I see my abuser, I can:
D. When I'm driving, if problems occur, I can:
E. If I take a bus, train, or taxi and I see my abuser, I can:
Step 6: Safety and my emotional health.
Being abused and put down can be exhausting and emotionally draining. Building a new life for myself (and my children) takes a lot of courage and energy. To save up my emotional energy and resources, I can:
A. Call and for moral support.
B. Go to support groups at a domestic violence agency or
to get validation and support for myself.
C. When I feel down and think about going back to my abuser, I can:
D. If I plan to use drugs or alcohol to dull my pain, I can get treatment
and help from:
Step 7: Items to take when leaving.
If I decide to leave my abuser, I will need to bring some important things with me. I can leave a copy of my restraining order, extra clothing, and spare car and house keys with a friend just in case I have to leave quickly.
Following is a list of what I can bring if I decide to leave for safety. Starred items are the most important.
When I leave, I should take:
*A packed bag (I can hide it somewhere in case I need it in a hurry)
*My identification documents.
*Birth certificates (mine and my children's)
*Social security cards
*Children's school and vaccination records
*Money (if possible), checkbook, passport savings book
*ATM (Automatic Teller Machine) card
*Credit Cards
*Keys to house, car, office, safety deposit boxes, etc.
*Driver's license and registration
*Medications (mine and children's)
*Welfare or other identification
*Work permits, green card
*Passport
*Children's favorite toys and/or blankets
Divorce papers
Medical records (mine and children's)
Lease/rental agreements, house deed
Mortgage payment book
Insurance papers
Address book (especially if it has where I'm staying in it)
Important and sentimental family pictures
Jewelry
Small saleable objects
Other things of special sentimental value that my abuser might destroy
Telephone numbers that I need to know:
| Emergency | 911 |
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| Victims of Crime Helpline | 1-800-494-8100 |
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| Blackstone Valley Advocacy Center | (401) 723-3057 |
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| Central Falls Police Department | (401) 727-7411 |
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| Cumberland Police Department | (401) 333-2500 |
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| Lincoln Police Department | (401) 727-9100 |
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| Pawtucket Police Department | (401) 727-9100 |
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| RI Coalition Against Domestic Violence: | (401) 467-9940 |
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| RI Legal Services | 274-2652 or 1-800-622-5034 |
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| Sexual Assault and Trauma Resource Center | (401) 421-4100 |
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